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Artwork by Patrick DolanMore Information

Guest Blog -Devouring Time nomnom….. This is not a performance.

I’m about ready to keel over.

I can’t stomach my food, my brain is leaking out of my face, I’m drinking cough syrup for my dinner again and there’s so many pills on my living room table you’d think I was making a DIY Hirst…..

To top it all off  as this opportunity came around, my computer had been a complete whore and caught a virus but she won’t tell me where from and would rather combat the malicious software with the Mac Man….

Every time the carefully constructed words come out my mouth, I cram them back in. Coughed up words can be equally embarrassing.

“Oh Gertrude, why’s there blood in her words?”

“Oh she’s one of them Live Artists Sidney….”

“Oh Gertrude…..What a waste….”

When I write them down, the barrier between me and you is evident. How can I make a meaningful connection in internet land? I have a look around the online art residency The Art of Engagement project, curated presently by Clare Adams and previously by Justin Allen and Rajni Shah. I think about how others have made the connections before me, how they speak and present themselves. I can only be me, I can’t control your reaction. This far scarier than presenting my live art.

This image was taken after the live perfomance. Artists are still wearing one anothers burdens.

The imagined space I wanted to carve out for you, the special sanctuary for my opinions and investigations becomes enveloped with Artists Unfounded fear.

T.I.K (thick) tic toc tic toc tic toc tic toc tic tic tic tic tic  T I…..time constraints rule my life……cough splutter….

Up at 6am….Working all day, rehearsals after work, go to studio, go to event/gallery etc….meet with various artists/event organisers/curators and interview, film things, take pictures, do a bunch of other stuff like get food…..have internal argument about how you feel about art….pull a range of faces whilst on the bus home and decide it’s not how you really feel.

I’m not gurning – it’s just my art face…

“You are just exhausted.”

In-between all the disasters, I have been to some wonderful exhibitions and events. Nottingham is thriving and the scene here is growing, despite foreboding future cuts. I know artists existed before and will do so after, they don’t all survive on ACE funding. Making any art work is like inbuilt compulsion and drive to show you something despite it often feeling like putting my neck on the chopping board. Considering audience has been my biggest dilemma at present, where do I fit in?  I recently met the other worldly and beautiful artist Tehching Hsieh in Plymouth and his advise about this was invaluable but I won’t put that here, not now.

I’ve been investigating the various art/creative scenes further, aided by my Undercover Dad. Based around the questions if the public are more sympathetic towards art these days? What happens to an artist without an audience or if they live in isolated areas? Will my Father embrace art land and begin to understand why I put myself though particular actions in the name of art?

I’m torn between not wanting to rush my thoughts and wanting to reach you all before the deadline kicks in, all I can do is my best. Cough Splutter….